Prison Transfer Tips:

(1) Don't eat spicy Indian food - no matter how fancy the restaurant;

(2) Don't stop and get sushi - not even at a world famous spot on the strip;

(3) Buy a bag full of Dramamine;

(4) Drink lots of water;

(5) Ignore the little voice in your head telling you to make a run for it as your bus crosses into the desert.




Leaving Las Vegas to get myself to prison really sucked my butt!!! Those five hours spent there felt more like five minutes. They happened so fast, not unlike time spent with the old boyfriend.  Over with before I could even bat a fancy eyelash!  You know, the feeling of wanting more, needing more...and then it being all over with in an instant. And you can't even call the backup because this one shot's all you got. Complete disappointment! The duration - not the quality of the experience.

Well, I spent the entire first week here sick to my tummy...suffering from "gastroenteritis" as my old bf would have put it.  It's like..."ummm, no, that's not EXACTLY what I would have called it." But, I'll spare you. Let's just say you won't want to be eating the booty like it's groceries any time soon.

And, so it was that I spent an entire week laid up in bed nursing myself back to health. It didn't hurt that I landed in this desert oasis where the going is easy and the fresh fruit's aplenty.  I was back on my feet feeling healed and renewed in no time.

After getting out of that funk, I realized that making the move from the Third Coast to the West Coast was the best decision I could have made for myself to ride out the remainder of my time.  Here, there are no officers or guards on duty watching over our every move, they leave us alone to do our own thing, and they don't ask too many questions or invade our space.  I don't even feel as if I'm in prison.  The only thing missing is our complete privacy and freedom.  So, I deal with it by pretending I'm at a desert oasis fitness resort on most days, and an ashram on others. Either way, it will allow me to walk out of here (when it's time to go) looking good and feeling even better.

Take this moment, for example, here I am in cute shorts and a tank top tanning my legs while I tell you about my recent adventures.  There is not one officer in sight to tell me that I can't. Loving it!

In the last few days, I've started a new fitness routine where I am "Walking Across America", and doing Kayla Itsines' Bikini Body Guide workouts. (They are kicking my A$$!!!)

In between, I take salsa dance classes, hula classes, and do all the bench step-ups that my legs can handle.  During more relaxed times, I go for evening mediation and prayer.

The mountain views are astounding (not unlike the old bf's penis - "the biggest in his country"!). And the air is so fresh and humidity free - my naturally curly hair is loving it! Wish I had a boyfriend to run his fingers through it. I regret always telling the old bf that he couldn't touch my hair unless he was paying for it.  That shit was expensive!!! Just ask the non-bf (who is different from the old bf), who actually DID pay for it - he'll tell  you.  He had to drop some serious stacks on the do. Nearly gave him a heart attack the first time he offered to pay for it.

But, enough about all that. Those memories are from a lifetime that now seems so far removed from my current reality. Gotta keep it moving forward!

On a positive note, a new friend of mine - a gorgeous Vegas showgirl - has promised to introduce me to her cousin so that I can entertain myself with him for the next few months that I'm here.  If he's half as beautiful as she is ...Vegas, we have a winner!

As always, I'll keep you posted. In the meantime, I'll keep oscillating (in my dreams) between the old bf, and the Texas eye candy I left behind. At this point...it's almost as if any $#@& will do. But, not really..."quality over quantity" is still the motto to live by, girls!