I just got off the bus! Dude, I need a shower! Uh, not really. I made it to Cali smelling like a fresh desert flower.  Some adventures just have to wait to be unveiled AFTER I leave prison. With my luck, the Feds will add ten years to my sentence for looking fabulous and smelling like a winner.  Would you like a whiff of this? Eh, can't touch this! Back off, bitch!

So, the bus ride wasn't all that bad. Definitely not the complete derelict drag-along that I thought it to be. It's just my good fortune that of all the bus stations across America, this is what was planted in place for me to start my journey...

But, first, I must digress. I should start with the beautiful, extremely clean, loft-like modern bus station I was dropped off at.  I could live there and be happy.  It even came complete with a super sweet front desk attendant who put my prison transition life at ease. I'm thinking I could keep her on as my personal assistant after all this. (Keisha, I'll call you!)

Okay, back to the gifts from God.  There were only six of us standing by at the station waiting on our bus to pull up.  There were two of us from the prison camp, a former male prisoner (18-months out), a young girl on her way to see her dad, and two handsome East Indian men - a university professor, and a businessman from Singapore. What?!? On the bus!?! In this little town?!? Whoop-whoop...God is good!

Ok, so, the Indian men would probably never have figured out we were straight outta prison - we still looked pretty cute even though we were in our prison grays - except for our new former prison friend having put us out there on blast. Thanks a lot, dude! If you are reading this... you messed up my game, Homie!

But it's all good. Actually, it turns out the professor was very married, and was only dropping off his very single friend at the station. (wink-wink) So, together, we all waited for the bus while getting to know a little bit about each other.

Former prison guy, having recognized fresh off the yard girls, bee-lined his way over with some friendly conversation, chocolate, and unlimited talk, text, and data! What!?! There truly is a God! Everything a girl wants, everything a girl needs. I forgot all about the sweet, shy Indian business guy in a quick instant. Now I definitely know where my priorities are, if I didn't before. First thing up on the screen... rabbitrabbitbirdbird.blogspot.com! That was the first time I was able to see this little puppy live. So, thank you former prison dude...you made my morning!

Not one to leave shy guy out in the dark, once on the bus, I made it a point to illuminate the dark corners of disappointment in his morning. We all had so much fun talking up a storm from point A to the next big stop where my two convict companions left off. Then it turns out, shy guy wasn't so shy after all. He was probably just intimidated by the crowd of felons he was keeping company with in this strange new (to him) land.

After that first drop off, he opened up like a can of worms.  But, after quickly noticing that we didn't hold to the same standards on dental hygiene, it was time for me to inch my way back from all of that. There would be no East-West love connection going on here. No matter how highly educated that fish would be. Re-cast!!! Damn!!! I have less than 48 hours to find the man of my dreams, and it ain't that one! Hurry up, Bitch! Mingle!!!

Here's some of the advice I got from my home gurlz as I left for my adventure:

1. (HG) Make sure you get some on the bus before you get there.
    (Me) Some what? Ewwww....do you really think I want to bang some random Mexican on a bus?

2. (HG) When you get to Vegas, make sure you make you some money, gurl!
    (Me) Oh, no. I'm not allowed to go into the casinos.
    (HG) Really!?!
    (Me) Ooooohhhh...ewwwww!!! I gotta go now. I'll write you!

So, yeah, I had a great time traveling from Texas to Cali with complete freedom to do what I want. I had a five hour layover in Dallas, and another five hours in Vegas. And, what happens in Vegas...

And, no, I didn't bang some rando on the bus, nor anywhere else. I didn't try my luck in Vegas either. Not on the slots, nor on the strip.  You will have to stay tuned for all those details. I am still in BOP custody, so I must remain within the bounds of good sense. I will tell you, though, that this two-day transfer furlough was amazing, considering I'm still in prison. I am very, very grateful for it.

I didn't meet the man of my dreams on this trip, but I did find closure with those old lingering friendships that I thought were still important to me. And, having found that, I am even more free to find myself in this wonderful place that is Southern California, where the weather is ideal, the views are picture perfect, and the sunsets bring with them the promise of a beautiful new tomorrow.

Oh, and I think that I am finally over my Indian/Pakistani obsession. It's like...what have you done for me lately? (Sing it, Janet! You and that fine-ass Arab-money billionaire husband of yours! Can I get a little some of that...Can you introduce me to his daddy, please?)

This week, I'm on my way back to Cali - on a bus, no less.  I'm excited, anxious, a little bit scared, but mostly I'm looking forward to the new chapter of my life that is about to unfold.

The past few weeks have been so stressful for me. Not because of the anxiety of going to yet another unfamiliar prison environment, but because of that bus ride I will be taking by the time you are reading this.

I'm the same one who had a panic attack, and broke down in tears the first time I had to get on public transportation at the halfway house when I was ending my state prison sentence. Thankfully, the women who came to my rescue were sweet, patient, and understanding of my plight.  They literally held my hand, and supported me through that initial ordeal. I never got used to riding the city bus. I would walk to and from work most times, rather than ride the bus. Other times, I would just share a taxi with my co-workers, especially when traveling late at night.

Lean, Mean, Money Making Machine
Before you start thinking that I'm being dramatic over having to ride the bus, let me tell you why I stopped. It wasn't the drug deals I bore witness to. Nor the blatant prostitution hustles I overheard. No, it was none of that. Those things I could handle, especially having just learned in prison not to hear, see or say anything about anything. 

What I couldn't handle was the saggy, smelly and skinny white guy whose wrinkly, hairy balls hung out from underneath his daisy dukes swinging freely as he sat cross-legged on the seat opposite me. Uh, yeah! F*@k public transportation! I'm walking!!! Check, please!

Federal prison allows you to transfer from facility to facility for various different reasons. Prisoners refer to this as "touring" prisons, especially those that have some serious time to do.

In some cases, the warden will allow an inmate to "furlough" transfer unescorted from facility to facility. Not everyone gets this privilege to transfer unescorted, and those who pose a risk to the community, they never get to transfer in this way. Those inmates not allowed usually include those transferring to administrative, low, medium, or high security facilities.

The inmates who are privileged to furlough unescorted must be transferring from a low or minimum security facility, must not pose a threat to the community, and must have demonstrated responsibility while incarcerated to assure furlough requirements will be met. Those inmates convicted of a serious crime against a person will not be granted a furlough.

Institutional transfers can still be requested by those not meeting the eligibility requirements for an unescorted furlough transfer. These inmates will generally be transferred via U.S. Marshal transport - i.e. ConAir and full prison armor.

Inmates can be transferred for the following reasons, among others:
- To an institution with greater security
- With lesser security
- As a result of misconduct (disciplinary)
- Nearer the release destination
- Relieve overcrowding
- Increase population (of newer facilities)
- Participation in a specialized drug abuse program
- Other types of program participation
- Return to original institution upon program completion, withdrawal or removal

Transferring facilities is seen as a privilege (when not as a result of an institutional need), and a prisoner's disciplinary record plays a major role in the granting or denying of such requests.  It's just like in the real work where you have to give a little to gain a little, and bad deeds are never rewarded.

I will follow up with my bus ride adventures next week. Thank you for stopping by.