This is week three of Kayla Itsines' Bikini Beach Body Workout. Still kicking my butt, but I like it! Our thrice weekly one-on-one sessions have evolved into a full blown workout taking up our entire rec center with hot girls galore joining in. We dim the lights down low, do our circuit workout, then twerk it out until our asses are super sore! Probably not what Ms. Itsines envisioned her workout to be, but, hey...this is prison! What does anyone expect out of us anyway?!?
It helps tremendously to have a Vegas showgirl, a Vegas stripper, a socal Latina hottie with a phat ass, two Hawaiian hula-girls, and of course, moi and my down south booty rumpshaker. The hot tracks of the night were the very fitting "Hot Girl" by Belly and Snoop Dogg, and "El Taxi." Don't ask. Just Google them. You figure it out... all the fun we were having.
The best part of it all, absolutely no po-lice to shut us down. We dubbed it our own special version of a re-entry class - the kind that is prison sanctioned to help us convicts reintegrate back into society with social skills and income earning potential. I may not be eligible to reclaim my law license until 2020, but I can now twerk it so I can werk it! Pay me mah money, ho...you know I'm all about that dough!
We even have a special walk where you pretend your legs are loose noodles making your ass quiver with every step. Try it. It's fun! I'm sure your man will thank you for it. Maybe he'll even make it rain on you (um...with hundred dolla bills, girls!)
Well, it's extremely cold here in this little valley where I now temporarily reside. A little too cold for a girl from the south. Girls gotta find a way to warm up the bum, right?
So far, so good at this camp. Everyday is beautiful, and I'm having so much fun! It's also day two of work. I was beginning to enjoy the life of leisure, but then they decided to put me to work. Bleh! I will be training to drive "Big Bertha" around the complex made up of three male prisons, and the women's camp, taking the women to and from work. I chose this particular job because (1) I don't really want to work hard for prison pennies anymore, and (2) this is a nice, relaxing way to spend my mornings. I will only be working until 10:30am - sweet! I'll have the rest of the day to work on keeping fit. But first, I have to train and obtain that license! Wish me luck! I'll be swanging "Big B" from the camp to the pen and back every day.
Okay, so picture a circa 1970s Tijuana city bus, chipped white paint, busted windows, no ac or heating, brown pleather seats...all that's missing is the stripper pole and it's a donkey short of a Mexican party bus! Yep, that'll be me, bossing up in here and getting that money on Big Bertha.
In the meantime, I am working as a fuel station attendant. For those that know me, I don't have to mention that I didn't know how to operate the fuel pump. For those that don't... a girl's gotta learn new skills in here.
Well, I just tuned in to NPR news to hear about all that is going on in the world. Always the same doom and gloom. In prison related news, there are several sit-ins taking place in prisons across the country to denounce the poor living conditions that prisoners are being subjected to right here in America. There are hunger strikes taking place in at least 5 male prisons, in addition to two women prisoners who are also participating in the sit-ins.
It has been reported that these two women are being punished for complaining about the conditions at their particular facilities, and as punishment, they were transferred and held at an all male facility.
Now, while some of you would probably be thinking that this is a good thing, it's really not. These women are most likely sitting in some version of the shu or "hole", being berated by some of the male officers in some form or another. Prisoners really don't have a voice while incarcerated. It takes a collective effort to get heard in most instances, so, I understand the seriousness of this situation. It took great coordination efforts to get all of these participants across the country to demonstrate in unison. I just hope that their voices are heard, and that conditions improve. Being in prison is not the walk in the park that it may seem. While, yes, federal prison camp might sound like it is, it's really only what we make of it. Most of us would rather be at home, living our lives, seeing our families and friends, enjoying our freedom.
For those of you who are in a position to advocate for those without a voice, I do hope that you see beyond what is parlayed to the general public through countless reality shows and other fabricated media.
